It’s hard to find hope amidst the hate. But it’s here, even in some places you might not expect it given the political climate of Iowa (IA), Missouri (MO), Nebraska (NE) and South Dakota (SD). Like Will Ferrell and Harper Steele in their Netflix film, Will and Harper, I too discovered hope while traveling through the Midwest this summer.
Take, for example, the work of the South Dakota Transformation Project. Located in Sioux Falls, this organization supports kids, parents, families and adults who fall under the gender diverse umbrella. SD Transformation Project delivers what their community needs most, such as:
Middle and high school hang-out hours.
Free Welcome Kits full of $75 worth of resources tailored to trans kids, parents of trans kids, and trans adults.
A clothing closet for those in transition.
And a fund to support the burdensome costs of lodging and gas when traveling out of state to receive health care.
Housed in the Prism Center, SD’s only known LGBTQIA+ community space, the rooms burst with color, gorgeous original art, and amazing attention to detail: from cozy seating, to refreshments and media resources. This place oozed safe and welcoming vibes, which might explain why I was greeted with hugs rather than handshakes by attendees of my event there this summer.
What’s even more amazing, however, is the lengths they go to in order to meet their community where they are, which in many cases, is rural South Dakota, hours away from Sioux Falls. Loads of services, such as teen and adult groups and mental health support can be found online in safe Discord spaces. Additionally, Kameron Nelson, the first out gay man elected to SD's state legislature, serves on the board. He is currently running for reelection to represent District 10.
Maisy Anderson, the Prism Center Director and Program Coordinator, shared a special story about community building: “One particularly inspiring experience involved a young person we met at a local event who shared with us their struggle to find clothing that matched their gender identity. Through our clothing service, Marty's Closet, we were able to provide them with not only gender-affirming clothing but also a sense of belonging and acceptance. This individual later returned with their mom to volunteer, wanting to give back and help other youth access the same support they had found. It’s moments like these that remind us of the powerful ripple effect our services can have—not only in empowering individuals but also in fostering supportive allies within families.”
She went on to share, “I’m involved in this work because I believe in creating a world where gender-diverse individuals are celebrated, not just accepted. Growing up, I didn’t always see people like me represented in my community. Working with our organization allows me to be part of changing that, and hoping that the youth of today stay in SD and continue to make SD a safe space. It’s incredibly rewarding to contribute to a community where young people feel they have a space to be authentically themselves and know they are not alone.”
Upon opening an unassuming door in a strip mall, Omaha for Us at first dazzles with its interior architecture. What’s more compelling, however, is the attention paid to meeting the diverse needs of the Nebraska LGBTQIA+ community.
Individuals running for office or organizations trying to get off the ground can “rent” a mailbox to protect themselves from the release of personal information like a home address.
A pantry for those who may be food insecure or in need of personal care/hygiene products.
And enough space for multiple groups to meet, create, conduct business or seek shelter from a storm all under one roof.
The creativity in programming is also evident. Past and present events include a D&D club for 19+ year olds, a Glam Room where folks can get clothing, hair, or makeup tips, and a beyond-the-binary fashion show.
Another bonus in Nebraska is State Senator Megan Hunt. She is the first woman ever elected to represent District 8. She is the first openly bisexual member of the state legislature. And, she is the proud mom of transgender child. Her work on behalf of her LGBTQIA+ constituents is nothing short of extraordinary.
Des Moines Pride Center houses Iowa’s largest LGBTQIA+ library, as well as an archive of Iowan queer history. It also offers a safe, secure space for groups to meet and host events. Rick Miller, the executive director, has been a leader in Iowa’s gay community for years as a member of the gay men’s chorus, as well as an artist and educator. His connection to other queer organizations in greater Des Moines highlights the values of integrity, authenticity and loyalty within Iowa’s LGBTQ community. He shared these details about what he finds most fulfilling in his work: “Being role models for others - including our own community. Creating inclusive spaces, language use, and library books for people of all ages to help parents, churches, educators, and everyone with understanding and grace.”
When asked about his commitment, he reminded me of the organization’s motto: Respected. Connected. Protected. He shared that Des Moines Pride’s role in serving the trans community is “Seeking and amplifying the history and concerns of transgender Americans of all ages. They have a unique perspective on life and gifts to offer society.”
Rick introduced me to One Iowa. Their executive director, Max Mowitz, emphasized that the organization focuses on “workplace culture, healthcare access, and leadership development as our programmatic pillars. This includes things like health and wellness work, including training and continuing education for healthcare providers in the area of L-G-B-T-Q inclusion. We also have an LGBTQ Leadership Institute, which is a pretty unique and really fun program where we have about 20 folks every year go through a leadership institute … And then we also do a lot of direct service support for folks. And we have a 501C4 organization called One Iowa Action that is active down at the capital fighting all of the anti-LGBTQ bills.”
Max added that in One Iowa’s direct service role to trans kids and their families: ‘What we want to do is help [them] know where to go, know where is safe, and figure out how to leave the state when they need care and to coordinate that care out of state.”
In St. Louis I met Susan Halla, the board president of the national organization, Transparent USA, whose mission is to support parents and caregivers of gender-diverse children of any age. The organization has chapters across the country.
Susan reveals, “We see that by reaching out to the parents of trans and non-binary youth, we provide a safe space to speak parent-to-parent on concerns and issues. We have parents in our meetings from all ends of the spectrum … Creating strong acceptance by parents provides a supportive home environment which every trans/non-binary/gender-expansive kid needs.” She goes on to share a common theme among all of the organizations I met in the Midwest: “It is always beautiful to watch families evolve through the meetings. They come in reticent, scared that their questions might be met with hostility, and not completely on-board with their child's journey. Families grow stronger each meeting realizing that each of the parents in the group has been through a similar experience and have valuable insight to help them grow. At some point, those same new and reticent parents are now strong advocates and help other new families on their own journeys. It's a marvel to watch everyone grow and expand their love and advocacy!”
After hearing about all the amazing things being done by some truly remarkable people, you might be wondering what little ol’ you can do …..
The simplest answer is vote. Vote with love. Vote for candidates who will honor and protect you, your loved ones, and your neighbor’s loved ones. Vote for policies that ensure the safety of all kids to thrive as their most authentic selves.
That said, voting day comes around once maybe twice a year. So, when you’re not headed to the polls, do these things:
Organize a Will and Harper watch party with your family/friends.
Follow GLAAD’s social media.
Listen to one of these podcasts: The Parent Advocate, What the Trans US, Camp Wild Heart, or Becoming Visible.
Subscribe to Ben Greene’s substack: Good Queer News and read his book: My Child is Trans, Now What: A Joy-Centered Approach to Support.
Buy two copies of Lindsey Wilson's children's book: You Be You. I'll Be Me. Keep one for yourself and give one to a parent of young kids.
Practice replacing she/he pronouns with they/them pronouns in your general conversation.
When meeting someone new, introduce yourself with your name and your pronouns.
Consider making a donation to any of the above-named organizations.
This post is part of my collection of blogs about cis parents of trans, nonbinary and gender-expansive kids called: Parenting Through Transitions. If you liked this post, please subscribe to receive my monthly email newsletter, as well as follow me on social @rachel_hulsteinlowe_llc.
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